Ai

I knew that you would said that.

I knew that you would look at me like that.

I knew that you would avoid me like this.

I knew everything. I don't know how, but i just knew.

Sometimes i just can see it clearly on your face when you tried so hard to hide it.

But why i feel so sad?

Is it because i always hope that everything i feel inside was not real?

Or maybe I'm not ready to hear the truth from you?

I never felt like this before.

Because for 8 months you were everything that i see.

I'm so lost, i don't know where to go.

And i still can feel the joy whenever i see you.

I always rewind all the memories with you before i go to sleep.

Yes. It is you. Just you.

I know you have someone better than me who cares about you,

and love you, or maybe deserve you better than me.

But i still care. I think i will always care.

Maybe they are right. You are the first person who make me feel like this.

And i won't forget this feeling for my entire life.

To be honest, i'm broken. I always try to hide it from everyone that i'm sad.

Because now i have to face the truth that i will never be with you.

Not even for a day.

You and me are in a different game anyway.

I don't think i can make you feel comfortable like the way you do to me.
I don't think i can make you smile like the way you make me smile.

I don't have that kind of knowledge.

I cannot even compete with my own friend. 

I'm so afraid that you will feel comfortable with her more than with me. 

But it doesn't matter know.

Because you won't care after all.
It's okay. I know.

At least you have my rocket drawing and whenever you feel down,

you still can see that someone faraway still care for you.

And that is me.

Even when you don't want it.